On the Voiceless, the Target Dog That Tried to Maul Me, and the Free Book

Let's discuss the many strange events that have occurred during my shifts at the MCA.

*Two weekends ago Chicago saw the middle of the flu/cold epidemic. And when that usually happens, I end up getting it and losing my voice as a bonus. This year was no different...

Except it happened during my work shift... the weekend that I was by myself... and it was somewhat busy.

It wouldn't be so bad if I didn't had to actually talk to the patrons... but then I remembered that the top three questions we get in the coat room that can't be answered with just head nods are "Where's the bathroom?", "What galleries are open?" and "Is photography allowed?" (You think the last one is a simple yes or no. How wrong you were, my friend).

So the result was a mute me, with the assistance of signs and hand signals, having to deal with patrons. Patrons who at times can be complete ass-hats (example: the woman who kept getting mad over that fact that I wouldn't talk loud enough to answer her question and thought I was doing it on purpose).

Painful? Yes.
Productive? No.
Hilarious? Absolutely.

*This past Saturday was the first of our Target Family Days, in which families with kids under 12 get in for free and do family friendly activities (which sadly does not include seeing Kara Walker). As it is sponsored by Target, Target decided to send in someone to dress up as their mascot: the Target Dog.

So a museum full of screaming children+one poor person in a dog costume=one HORRIFYING Saturday. How much more horrifying could it be? (Actually, "poor" is a lie. That worker got to stay at the Drake).

As I was walking back from my lunch break, I had to walk around the crowd of children circling the dog-person. Unfortunately, the dog-person noticed me (or caught my scent...WHO KNOWS) and decided to try to wave at me with its paws two inches away from my face. That's right, the Target Dog tried to maul my face off with its big fake paws, causing much panic as well as violating the sacred TOUCH BUBBLE law!

As it is my luck, Family day happens every month, which means MORE ATTACKS FROM THE TARGET DOG!

*Sunday my co-worker and I were working the coat room when a woman with luggage came to check in her stuff.

"So have either of you read 'The Little Book'?"
"No ma'am, can't say I have."
"I can't get into it. I don't want it. You have it."
"Um... what?"
"Think of this as my tip for you."
"uh... thanks?"

This woman left a book. A not so exciting book either (with Time Warp! And Freud! and Little Hitler! And Sex with your Grandma!), but that's besides the point. Who gives away a book??? And as a tip?? (This almost matches that time Juanita got the Blue Album as a tip once). I don't think I violated anything for taking it, but still, REALLY???

I think this needs to be a new trend.

On a Few Things Considered (or as much as our budget lets us)

*I had a run in that was pretty much Craigslist worthy yesterday. Let me actually describe it as if I was going to post it on Missed Connections:

You: Cute Bicyclist in Black. Me: The Girl You Almost Killed (w4m)

You almost ran me over with your bike last night on the corner of Michigan and Chicago. But then again, it WAS my fault. I mean, who stands on the actual street when the stupid little red hand is lit?? I'm amazed the typical Midwestern driver didn't run me over, yell at me, then continue on their way, leaving me for dead. But instead, you almost hit me. And instead of hitting me, you stopped and almost fell of your bike, Mr Rider in Black Armor. And instead of yelling at me, you said it was ok and was quite calm about it. And instead of giving you my number (AS I SHOULD OF), I pretty much yelled "SORRY SORRY SORRY I AM SOOOOOOOO SORRY!!!" and ran away. So yes, Mr. Rider, let me make it up to you. How about coffee (or tea, or booze) and show you that I'm not some ditzy girl who can't cross the
street without issues.

So yeah, a cute guy almost ran me over. At least it wasn't a car, which could have been more problematic.

*Michael and I are doing a "Say It Ain't So, Joe (Biden)!/Sarah Palin Killed My Liver!" drinking game. If you don't hear from us tomorrow, we died from debate poisoning. Also, people can fight over who inherits my music collection.

*Because of AVClub's Taste Test and Nick & Brian, my need for bacon has grown. Which led to my recent discovery:

Walgreen sells bacon.

Yeah, I know. A little weird, and also a little awesome.

On Being (Partially) Unemployed

As of Friday I officially no longer work at the Reg. I am now (partially) unemployed. The (partially) because I still have the part time job at the MCA.

Am I a bit freaked out by this?

You damn right I am.

In the meantime, I continue to apply for open positions that I just randomly find and that I'm qualified for.

Or, if we're going to translate that...

I sit in my apartment, listening to Lucinda Williams, and drink my sorrows away with my "Make Me Feel Better" flask. Plus do some transcriptions, applications, etc.

Though I guess my new free time will give me a chance to do that...thing...

On the Northwestern Way, and List of Much Needed Coffee Table Books

For those of you still playing the Game, last Friday I had an interview with Northwestern University for a full time position in their library. Let's do the rundown:

So the woman who called me at least five times gave me verbal directions on how to get to the library, since I have never actually been to the campus. At the end of her long-winded description, which included some arch, a painted rock, and a chapel, the woman states that she would email me some clearer instructions. I get the email, skim over, and was mildly content.

The day BEFORE the interview, however, I actually read the email, and realized that the directions in the email did NOT lead to the library. Thus throwing me off on where the hell I'm supposed to have this interview.

And of course, instead of being responsible and making sure I knew where exactly the interview was happening, I just decided to follow the email.

Friday comes. I'm dressed to impress (with heels! and skirt!) and make the 2hr (actually 1h30min this time) to Evanston. With 15 min to spare, I make it to what turned out to be Human Resources.

"So I'm supposed to have an interview here for a library position. Can you tell me where that's happening?"
"Um, so you're in the wrong building."
"Really?...wanna direct me to the library from here...?"

After pretty much sprinting to the library (you try doing that in heels and skirt...I dare you), I still had about 5 mins to spare. Although you know how I found the library once I got there??

Pitch black. That's right, the library was out of power! I had to be guided to the department interviewing me with a lantern. I was even interviewed by a lantern. Yeah...talk about a winning interview.

I'm hoping to hear from them this week. If I don't get hired, I is so screwed.

Meanwhile, I've started a list of books we need for our coffee table.

1)Giraffes? Giraffes!
Blogger: I Refuse to Grow Up: The Post-College Life - Create Post2) And Tango Makes Three!I have more, but I ran out of energy...

Oh Dear the Onion is Telling the Truth!!!

Let's step away from the job market for a bit and let's discuss a trend Michael and I have been noticing.

First, here's this article from the Onion

With this wonderful photo:


A week later, Michael and I found this article

Maybe they were inspired by the Onion?

Dunno, but it did make me hunt down the article about Bill.

On NOT Failing, Yet Being Too Short...

SUCCESS!!!!

Yes, I have a part time job now. A job which I started TODAY! I am now the newest member of Team Coatroom at the Museum of Contemporary Art. Multiple benefits include climbing the museum ladder, plus free admittance to ANY MUSEUM IN THE WORLD!

But yes, today was pretty much me dealing with HR and receiving a lovely info packet so full I can give you both a tour of the museum AND tell you everything about the koi fish. Plus they threw me into the coatroom for the first time. It wasn't bad...

until I had to get a backpack from the top shelf....

and then stuff fell out because I was too short to prevent it.

But I'm apparently adorable enough for people to just laugh about it. Such is my life.

Also, I had to deny my first tip today. So much pain in one little action.

Now for something that might include health insurance...

On New Possibilities, What's Trying to Kill Me, and that Good Time Feeling

So far, my previous attempts to find a part time job has resulted in alot of failure. However, a new light has shined in my direction. New friend Ted works for UIC School of Public Health doing field interviews about people and lake water...or something....anyways, the IMPORTANT thing here is that they need field interviewers. And that's where my wonderful little resume comes in. So yes, I now have hope in the part time field.

In the Full Time arena, it's not looking so good. I'm still searching. I'm adding the university as an option for a job. Actually pretty much anything that will offer health insurance will be great. Why the health insurance? Well, let's go into this new section called "What Trying to Kill Me."

1) This Band:



Or more like the crowd watching the band.

Yes, I was there Saturday night at Lollapalooza. Yes I almost died. It got to the point where I physically could not breathe in the pit, and was in fear of being trampled. On the plus side, I escaped with just bruises and really shaken nerves. Plus got to witness a really awesome set.

2) This disease:



About a month ago, Carla surprised us with the news that she got strep. But you would figure that after a month, it would leave our poor apartment. Oh how wrong, dear reader. Or at least that's what one poor friend of Carla discovered last week when he had to go to the hospital for it. Now my body is at that "ughh" stage, with my sinuses out of whack, my body really weak, and so forth. And since I don't have health insurance as mentioned before, so I'm reliant on tea.

3) This man:


Yes, Ken Griffey Jr. has joined the White Sox. While this is probably great for the team, all this really means for me is more of a headache coming home from work. Now Bridgeport will be filled even more with frat boys and over dressed girls. The same people that will make my way home so much more difficult I'm pretty sure I'll end up dead in some mass of said people. Kids, you're at the wrong stadium. Why don't you go to a cubs game?

4) This event:

Ok, the Olympics aren't bad, but it's a little stressful. I'll end up getting a heart attack at some point from all this.