On the Voiceless, the Target Dog That Tried to Maul Me, and the Free Book

Let's discuss the many strange events that have occurred during my shifts at the MCA.

*Two weekends ago Chicago saw the middle of the flu/cold epidemic. And when that usually happens, I end up getting it and losing my voice as a bonus. This year was no different...

Except it happened during my work shift... the weekend that I was by myself... and it was somewhat busy.

It wouldn't be so bad if I didn't had to actually talk to the patrons... but then I remembered that the top three questions we get in the coat room that can't be answered with just head nods are "Where's the bathroom?", "What galleries are open?" and "Is photography allowed?" (You think the last one is a simple yes or no. How wrong you were, my friend).

So the result was a mute me, with the assistance of signs and hand signals, having to deal with patrons. Patrons who at times can be complete ass-hats (example: the woman who kept getting mad over that fact that I wouldn't talk loud enough to answer her question and thought I was doing it on purpose).

Painful? Yes.
Productive? No.
Hilarious? Absolutely.

*This past Saturday was the first of our Target Family Days, in which families with kids under 12 get in for free and do family friendly activities (which sadly does not include seeing Kara Walker). As it is sponsored by Target, Target decided to send in someone to dress up as their mascot: the Target Dog.

So a museum full of screaming children+one poor person in a dog costume=one HORRIFYING Saturday. How much more horrifying could it be? (Actually, "poor" is a lie. That worker got to stay at the Drake).

As I was walking back from my lunch break, I had to walk around the crowd of children circling the dog-person. Unfortunately, the dog-person noticed me (or caught my scent...WHO KNOWS) and decided to try to wave at me with its paws two inches away from my face. That's right, the Target Dog tried to maul my face off with its big fake paws, causing much panic as well as violating the sacred TOUCH BUBBLE law!

As it is my luck, Family day happens every month, which means MORE ATTACKS FROM THE TARGET DOG!

*Sunday my co-worker and I were working the coat room when a woman with luggage came to check in her stuff.

"So have either of you read 'The Little Book'?"
"No ma'am, can't say I have."
"I can't get into it. I don't want it. You have it."
"Um... what?"
"Think of this as my tip for you."
"uh... thanks?"

This woman left a book. A not so exciting book either (with Time Warp! And Freud! and Little Hitler! And Sex with your Grandma!), but that's besides the point. Who gives away a book??? And as a tip?? (This almost matches that time Juanita got the Blue Album as a tip once). I don't think I violated anything for taking it, but still, REALLY???

I think this needs to be a new trend.