Dear Santa...

I would like some freakin health insurance! Possibly even a second job!

Get on that, yes?

Heart, stars, and horseshoes...

-Natalia

On This MASSIVE Reading List

While I may gripe about my coat check job, one of the perks about it is that I get to read...a lot.
Below is a list of the books I have read:

This Side of Paradise by F. Scott Fitzgerald
A Farewell to Arms by Ernest Hemingway
The Omnivore's Dilemma by Michael Pollan
The Little Book by Selden Edwards
Stigma by Erving Goffman
Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury
Love in the Time of Cholera by Gabriel Garcia Marquez
Snow by Orhan Pamuk
Into the Wild by Jon Krakauer
The Watchmen by Alan Moore
The Sandman, part 1 by Neil Gaiman
American Gods by Neil Gaiman
Love is a Mix Tape by Rob Sheffield
The Stranger by Albert Camus
The Chinchilla Farm by Judith Freeman
Desolation Angels by Jack Kerouac
A Clockwork Orange by Anthony Burgess

Right now I'm re-reading Talal Asad's Formation of the Secular, which due to the nature of the job, was probably a bad choice. With that, I ask for recommendations. (Note: No Hemingway. No more Hemingway. You recommend him and I swear I will beat you and leave you to die...in the rain).

On the Fact That Momma Said to Knock You Three Ways to Sunday, and That's What I Intend to

This past weekend was miserable. WHY?? Here's why:



So Friday was First Fridays, the event which is pretty much just booze, sluts, and art. We're required to sell tickets to this deal. Fortunately I can escape by working the store and just checking that people are either on the guest list or bought tickets in advance. THIS Friday we were 1) understaffed 2) overcrowded 3) cold (this may have not been a big deal, but I figured I should add it to the list). For some strange reason, women were trying to flirt with me just to get in for free!! SO MUCH CLEAVAGE IN MY FACE!! So traumatizing. Guys were also trying to hit on me, but it was more so I could tell them where the food was.

Then it got worse...

Not only was it Family Day on Saturday (the same event that previously had the Target Dog), but there were two very large UNANNOUNCED tour groups visiting the museum. Usual policy: large groups like school trips and what not usually warn us beforehand so we can accommodate them. Clearly these groups did not get the memo, so we had to deal with them PLUS the screaming children. The coat room was full AN HOUR after opening! There were three of us in there and we still couldn't deal with the masses! By the time I got to my lunch break, it looked like I had just survived a traumatic event.

On the plus side, pizza was added to the strange tips list. Yay to free pizza.

It's That Time of the Year Again

That's right. It's Halloween.

Ladies, you know what this means.

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Now where's my sexy Abe Lincoln costume?

On Why None of This Makes Sense

Loyola University turned me down for a position that was pretty much the job I had for four years.

The

Fuck

No, really, what more did they want from me?? They made me go through a TWO HOUR interview. And then they send me a "Sucks to be you, I hope you like being unemployed" email (who sends a rejection EMAIL?? What are they, the bad ex-boyfriends of Human Resources??)

God

Damn

Everything.

On the plus side (in theory), I started canvassing for Planned Parenthood tonight. While I doubt it will last past the election, it will be nice to have both karma points and extra income for awhile.

Now if only people were willing to help my cause and give me donations.

On the Voiceless, the Target Dog That Tried to Maul Me, and the Free Book

Let's discuss the many strange events that have occurred during my shifts at the MCA.

*Two weekends ago Chicago saw the middle of the flu/cold epidemic. And when that usually happens, I end up getting it and losing my voice as a bonus. This year was no different...

Except it happened during my work shift... the weekend that I was by myself... and it was somewhat busy.

It wouldn't be so bad if I didn't had to actually talk to the patrons... but then I remembered that the top three questions we get in the coat room that can't be answered with just head nods are "Where's the bathroom?", "What galleries are open?" and "Is photography allowed?" (You think the last one is a simple yes or no. How wrong you were, my friend).

So the result was a mute me, with the assistance of signs and hand signals, having to deal with patrons. Patrons who at times can be complete ass-hats (example: the woman who kept getting mad over that fact that I wouldn't talk loud enough to answer her question and thought I was doing it on purpose).

Painful? Yes.
Productive? No.
Hilarious? Absolutely.

*This past Saturday was the first of our Target Family Days, in which families with kids under 12 get in for free and do family friendly activities (which sadly does not include seeing Kara Walker). As it is sponsored by Target, Target decided to send in someone to dress up as their mascot: the Target Dog.

So a museum full of screaming children+one poor person in a dog costume=one HORRIFYING Saturday. How much more horrifying could it be? (Actually, "poor" is a lie. That worker got to stay at the Drake).

As I was walking back from my lunch break, I had to walk around the crowd of children circling the dog-person. Unfortunately, the dog-person noticed me (or caught my scent...WHO KNOWS) and decided to try to wave at me with its paws two inches away from my face. That's right, the Target Dog tried to maul my face off with its big fake paws, causing much panic as well as violating the sacred TOUCH BUBBLE law!

As it is my luck, Family day happens every month, which means MORE ATTACKS FROM THE TARGET DOG!

*Sunday my co-worker and I were working the coat room when a woman with luggage came to check in her stuff.

"So have either of you read 'The Little Book'?"
"No ma'am, can't say I have."
"I can't get into it. I don't want it. You have it."
"Um... what?"
"Think of this as my tip for you."
"uh... thanks?"

This woman left a book. A not so exciting book either (with Time Warp! And Freud! and Little Hitler! And Sex with your Grandma!), but that's besides the point. Who gives away a book??? And as a tip?? (This almost matches that time Juanita got the Blue Album as a tip once). I don't think I violated anything for taking it, but still, REALLY???

I think this needs to be a new trend.

On a Few Things Considered (or as much as our budget lets us)

*I had a run in that was pretty much Craigslist worthy yesterday. Let me actually describe it as if I was going to post it on Missed Connections:

You: Cute Bicyclist in Black. Me: The Girl You Almost Killed (w4m)

You almost ran me over with your bike last night on the corner of Michigan and Chicago. But then again, it WAS my fault. I mean, who stands on the actual street when the stupid little red hand is lit?? I'm amazed the typical Midwestern driver didn't run me over, yell at me, then continue on their way, leaving me for dead. But instead, you almost hit me. And instead of hitting me, you stopped and almost fell of your bike, Mr Rider in Black Armor. And instead of yelling at me, you said it was ok and was quite calm about it. And instead of giving you my number (AS I SHOULD OF), I pretty much yelled "SORRY SORRY SORRY I AM SOOOOOOOO SORRY!!!" and ran away. So yes, Mr. Rider, let me make it up to you. How about coffee (or tea, or booze) and show you that I'm not some ditzy girl who can't cross the
street without issues.

So yeah, a cute guy almost ran me over. At least it wasn't a car, which could have been more problematic.

*Michael and I are doing a "Say It Ain't So, Joe (Biden)!/Sarah Palin Killed My Liver!" drinking game. If you don't hear from us tomorrow, we died from debate poisoning. Also, people can fight over who inherits my music collection.

*Because of AVClub's Taste Test and Nick & Brian, my need for bacon has grown. Which led to my recent discovery:

Walgreen sells bacon.

Yeah, I know. A little weird, and also a little awesome.

On Being (Partially) Unemployed

As of Friday I officially no longer work at the Reg. I am now (partially) unemployed. The (partially) because I still have the part time job at the MCA.

Am I a bit freaked out by this?

You damn right I am.

In the meantime, I continue to apply for open positions that I just randomly find and that I'm qualified for.

Or, if we're going to translate that...

I sit in my apartment, listening to Lucinda Williams, and drink my sorrows away with my "Make Me Feel Better" flask. Plus do some transcriptions, applications, etc.

Though I guess my new free time will give me a chance to do that...thing...

On the Northwestern Way, and List of Much Needed Coffee Table Books

For those of you still playing the Game, last Friday I had an interview with Northwestern University for a full time position in their library. Let's do the rundown:

So the woman who called me at least five times gave me verbal directions on how to get to the library, since I have never actually been to the campus. At the end of her long-winded description, which included some arch, a painted rock, and a chapel, the woman states that she would email me some clearer instructions. I get the email, skim over, and was mildly content.

The day BEFORE the interview, however, I actually read the email, and realized that the directions in the email did NOT lead to the library. Thus throwing me off on where the hell I'm supposed to have this interview.

And of course, instead of being responsible and making sure I knew where exactly the interview was happening, I just decided to follow the email.

Friday comes. I'm dressed to impress (with heels! and skirt!) and make the 2hr (actually 1h30min this time) to Evanston. With 15 min to spare, I make it to what turned out to be Human Resources.

"So I'm supposed to have an interview here for a library position. Can you tell me where that's happening?"
"Um, so you're in the wrong building."
"Really?...wanna direct me to the library from here...?"

After pretty much sprinting to the library (you try doing that in heels and skirt...I dare you), I still had about 5 mins to spare. Although you know how I found the library once I got there??

Pitch black. That's right, the library was out of power! I had to be guided to the department interviewing me with a lantern. I was even interviewed by a lantern. Yeah...talk about a winning interview.

I'm hoping to hear from them this week. If I don't get hired, I is so screwed.

Meanwhile, I've started a list of books we need for our coffee table.

1)Giraffes? Giraffes!
Blogger: I Refuse to Grow Up: The Post-College Life - Create Post2) And Tango Makes Three!I have more, but I ran out of energy...

Oh Dear the Onion is Telling the Truth!!!

Let's step away from the job market for a bit and let's discuss a trend Michael and I have been noticing.

First, here's this article from the Onion

With this wonderful photo:


A week later, Michael and I found this article

Maybe they were inspired by the Onion?

Dunno, but it did make me hunt down the article about Bill.

On NOT Failing, Yet Being Too Short...

SUCCESS!!!!

Yes, I have a part time job now. A job which I started TODAY! I am now the newest member of Team Coatroom at the Museum of Contemporary Art. Multiple benefits include climbing the museum ladder, plus free admittance to ANY MUSEUM IN THE WORLD!

But yes, today was pretty much me dealing with HR and receiving a lovely info packet so full I can give you both a tour of the museum AND tell you everything about the koi fish. Plus they threw me into the coatroom for the first time. It wasn't bad...

until I had to get a backpack from the top shelf....

and then stuff fell out because I was too short to prevent it.

But I'm apparently adorable enough for people to just laugh about it. Such is my life.

Also, I had to deny my first tip today. So much pain in one little action.

Now for something that might include health insurance...

On New Possibilities, What's Trying to Kill Me, and that Good Time Feeling

So far, my previous attempts to find a part time job has resulted in alot of failure. However, a new light has shined in my direction. New friend Ted works for UIC School of Public Health doing field interviews about people and lake water...or something....anyways, the IMPORTANT thing here is that they need field interviewers. And that's where my wonderful little resume comes in. So yes, I now have hope in the part time field.

In the Full Time arena, it's not looking so good. I'm still searching. I'm adding the university as an option for a job. Actually pretty much anything that will offer health insurance will be great. Why the health insurance? Well, let's go into this new section called "What Trying to Kill Me."

1) This Band:



Or more like the crowd watching the band.

Yes, I was there Saturday night at Lollapalooza. Yes I almost died. It got to the point where I physically could not breathe in the pit, and was in fear of being trampled. On the plus side, I escaped with just bruises and really shaken nerves. Plus got to witness a really awesome set.

2) This disease:



About a month ago, Carla surprised us with the news that she got strep. But you would figure that after a month, it would leave our poor apartment. Oh how wrong, dear reader. Or at least that's what one poor friend of Carla discovered last week when he had to go to the hospital for it. Now my body is at that "ughh" stage, with my sinuses out of whack, my body really weak, and so forth. And since I don't have health insurance as mentioned before, so I'm reliant on tea.

3) This man:


Yes, Ken Griffey Jr. has joined the White Sox. While this is probably great for the team, all this really means for me is more of a headache coming home from work. Now Bridgeport will be filled even more with frat boys and over dressed girls. The same people that will make my way home so much more difficult I'm pretty sure I'll end up dead in some mass of said people. Kids, you're at the wrong stadium. Why don't you go to a cubs game?

4) This event:

Ok, the Olympics aren't bad, but it's a little stressful. I'll end up getting a heart attack at some point from all this.

On FAILING and Transcribing 101

Remember the list of places that I applied to? The ones where I left multiple copies of my resume in hopes of getting at least a part time?

Ha Ha Ha FAIL!

The only interview I had in the past month was the Reckless one, and clearly that resulted in me NOT working for them.

I mean, what did these retail places want from me??? Especially after they ask for resumes?? Also, how freaked out was I when I found out that Urban Outfitters was having a JOB FAIR?? A JOB FAIR??? YOU'RE URBAN OUTFITTERS!! I wasn't applying to any high level positions! I just want to stand at the entrance and just say "Welcome to Urban Outfitters" and fold overpriced t-shirts! WHY DO YOU NEED A JOB FAIR??

But yes...

I plan to reapplyto the museums in hopes that something will happen after September. I'm also still waiting for Nick's position at the reg to be available to apply for so I can FIGHT AND BEAT OTHER USELESS PEOPLE FOR IT.

Luckily I still have transcribing for me. Although I STILL need to finish these transcriptions, which are still not done due to 1)my schedule 2) my inability to stay awake one I get home at 6pm 3) my computer and all of its dying glories and 4) my perfectionist attitude towards the way the annotations should be done.

Which reminds me:
*If you're transcribing a speech, don't try to figure out what the speaker is saying during those seconds the whole audience is clapping. It's a lost cause. No one speaks loud enough to be understood over an auditorium of applause.
*If you're the one recording, for the love of god, don't play with the recording device. You'll get weird noises that drown out what's being said. So far I have audio that starts of with

Thank *THUMP* you all f*THUMP*or com*THUMP*ing

*Transcribing on a computer will make you cross-eyed and suffering from the worst case of I HATE EVERYONE and migraines this side of the Mississippi.

Reckless Records and Love is a Mixtape

So while I was having lunch with Victor today in the quads I get a phone call from a number I didn't recognize. Usually this meant telemarketers or something along those lines, but hey, I answer anyways.

Turns out, it was Reckless Records. With a open position.

So what I thought was going to be an annoying phone call became a PHONE INTERVIEW. ONE THAT I MANAGED TO SCREW UP. All because the guy on the other end decided to go straight to the "so what music do you listen to" question. What do I answer with??

mumblemumbleArtBrutmuble

I mean...REALLY, NATALIA?? Was that REALLY the most COHERENT thing to come out of my mouth as an answer?? While I love Art Brut, I couldn't think of any other bands in my collection?? Los Campesinos?? Fugazi?? The Pippettes?? Now this guy is going to think that I was desperate to sound cool.

So it's safe to say, that I'm not going to get hired by Reckless anytime soon.

However, to make up for this massive example of FAIL, Victor gave me Love is a Mixtape (in hardcover!) as a late birthday gift. I've been wanting this after reading the first chapter one day at Borders (hey, don't knock my methods. I've managed to read both Catcher in the Rye and Franny and Zooey at Borders). I was going to start reading today...but I fell asleep after getting back from work...and woke up like now.

Also, I like how one of the samples for labels is "scooters."

Job Hunt Initiated

Let's think of my current employment situation. For the summer (at least) I'm working at the Joseph Regenstein Library Acquisitions department at UofC. I've had this job since arriving to campus in 2004, and the only reason why they haven't kicked me out right after graduation is because we're allowed one extra quarter of employment. So because of that, I'm in desparate need of a full-time position come September.

For full times, I've applied to:
*The Art Institute
*The Field Museum
*The Museum of Contemporary Art
*the...reg....

Ok, the reg is not a long term goal, but if I can't find work anywhere else, I would like to be able to work there at least. They wouldn't have to spend much time training me, since I'm already used to the software. Plus, I like to be able to have health insurance.

Besides, I've blown off Teach For America and Progressive Futures. I've already corrupted the youth of America through booze and other illegal acts. I shouldn't add TFA to my list. Plus Progressives Futures was paying less than my job at the reg.

Also a more pressing issue is the need for a part time job. The reg pays enough to live, but I'll need more wages to cover living in Chicago. I already have a side job transcribing for a PhD candidate, which pays well, but again I'll need to supplement that.

So in the area of part time, I've applied to:
*Reckless Records
*Hugo Boss
*Vosges Chocolate
*Lucky Jeans
*Georgio Armani
*Belmont Army
*Tulip
*Tabu Tabu
*Urban Outfitters

Yes it's all retail. Hey, I have minimal experience in retail working as a folder in JCPenny summer before junior year of high school. Funny enough, they ALL REQUIRED RESUMES!

So let's keep the time table in mind.
I have until NOW to find a part time.
I have until late September (or until Aaron and Martin DRAG me out of the department) to find a full time.

The Post UofC Life: 3 weeks later

This past Saturday, July 5, marked 3 weeks after I graduated from the University of Chicago with a degree in Anthropology. Right now, I'm sitting in my new apartment in Bridgeport (an area in Chicago next to the White Sox Stadium), listening Devandra Banhart and drinking Goose Island. Michael, one of my new roommates, is washing dishes a few feet away from me, while Vanya the cat just sits and watches (without the usual yowling!). Life wise, however, is not so easy and mellow. How did I get here?

Let's go back a little more than four years ago.

When I graduated Downey High School in 2004, I was in the top 4% of my class. I had a GPA above 4.0, plus extracurriculars up the ass. I was to go to the University of Chicago, graduate, then go to Veterinary Medical school to become a vet. It was all planned out.

Oh how naive was I.

Instead, I realized 1) how much I hated chemistry 2) how horrible I was at math 3) how extremely lazy I am when it came to general studying 4) how panicky I became in general. So I diverted from the bio to the anthro (after dabbling a bit in history), and instead of getting ready for vet school, I'm on the job hunt, with the possibility of flirting with grad school in museum sciences.

Back to now now.

So yeah. Here I am. In the pending need of a job. Problem is no one wants to hire anyone with a degree in Anthropology. May it be from the UofC, but I just pretty much set up a hipster image for myself when I add on that field (there will be another entry on my denial of hipster member ship in the future). It's pretty much useless. Except for museums (which is my ultimate #1 goal!).

And that's when this blog comes in.

I decided to create this blog for a few reasons.
*It was alot easier than having to repeat my employment status over and over.
*It will help me keep track of all the places I've applied to.
*This is easier for people not in Chicago (specifically Juanita and Camilo) to keep up with my life
*Out of the old apartment at the Plaza, I am the second to last one to start a blog (I bet Max won't start one, but whatever).

So without further ado, let the good times roll.